I have a hard time forgiving her, but not really. I want to hold onto that anger and stay hurt for as long as she’s gone, because the truth is, I want her back. I’m willing to look past what has happened if she would just come back to me. The hurt will go away the second she returns to my arms, and then I’ll know the pain was worth it.
At least that’s what I had convinced myself until reality kicked my ass. She’s not coming back, and now I’m stuck with everything around me that reminds me of her. I’m just pissed at the world, ruined from the inside out, and bitter beyond belief. All of that makes me hate myself. I gave her all I possibly could and she threw it back in my face.
It’s finally time to move on. I know this. She ripped my heart into a thousand pieces and I refused to put it back together again. That should have been her job. Now I need to do it myself, even though I know it just might kill me. But that was until she came back into my life, and I finally learned the hard way that some things are just meant to shock the hell out of you. I couldn’t forgive her as easily as I thought I could. Things didn’t just fall into place like I’d hoped they would. But one thing was for sure… She would
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